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September 8, 2018

5 reasons why you shouldn’t be surprised Elon Musk smoked weed

by John_A

As you’ve probably noticed, the internet is crapping its pants over Elon Musk. Again.

Why? Because The Tesla CEO went on Joe Rogan’s podcast and took a tiny hit from a spliff (for all you squares reading this, that’s half tobacco/half weed) during a recorded video interview.

The video went viral almost immediately, and shorty thereafter, Tesla’s stock took a hit. Apparently the footage of Musk puffing on jazz cabbage has some investors worried about his fitness to run a publicly traded company.

That’s ridiculous. Here are five reasons why nobody should be surprised that Elon Musk gets down.

1. This is the guy who dreamt up the Hyperloop. Who else, other than a stoner, would come up with a transportation system based on giant vacuum tubes? Your boy Elon was clearly baked out of his gourd when he went to a bank and saw the pneumatic tube system at the drive-through. He then did what any genius-level stoner would do: He went home and wrote a whitepaper. Don’t quote me on this, but I’m fairly certain that’s how the Hyperloop was born.

2. He’s dating Grimes (or was — I really haven’t kept up with all the gossip). Let’s be honest: The only way anyone can survive a Grimes concert is by smoking a shipping container full of Chernobyl Kush and getting so blitzed that your brain doesn’t process auditory information correctly.

3. He’s a billionaire, and CEO of multiple high-value companies. If you think for a second that Elon hasn’t snorted blow in a nightclub bathroom before, or dropped LSD directly into his eyeballs at Burning Man, then you’re delusional. This dude has done things that regular people like you and I only see in movies — so smoking a bit of loud with Joe Rogan is probably child’s play for him

4. He recently tweeted about making Tesla private again, and said he had secured funding to do so at $420 per share. Coincidence? I think not.

5. Seriously? You’re still reading? Who cares if he gets stoned? There are far, far worse things going on in the world than a grown man taking a completely legal puff on a completely legal blunt.

Ok. That last one wasn’t really a reason.

Elon Musk’s appearance on Rogan is entertaining to watch, for sure. It also shows how Musk’s cult of personality has turned into a circus that has nothing to do with the technology his companies build. Musk wants to build electric, autonomous cars. He wants to send people to space. He wants to build high-speed tunnels to connect faraway cities. These — and many other things that Musk works on — will have serious consequences for millions of people. It’s worth giving them serious thought.

Musk hitting a blunt? C’mon. It’s hilarious. It’s also irrelevant.

This article represents the views of the author, who was probably stoned while he wrote this.

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