Bothering the bots: Funny questions and commands to pose to Google Assistant

At I/O 2017, Google announced that Google Assistant would be coming to the App Store, further escalating the digital assistant battle with Apple in a play for world domination. As is the case with many of Google’s products and services, the company has intentionally implemented a bevy of secret features — known as “Easter eggs” — into the bot for a healthy dose of levity. You can check out the full list of some of our favorite Google Easter eggs here.

Google Assistant is meme-savvy and exceedingly privy to pop culture, because, of course it is. To keep from ruining the novelty of the premise, we won’t spoil all of the answers to the questions we asked the wry, young assistant. Without further ado, here are some of our favorite funny questions to ask Google Assistant. If you have an iPhone, you might also want to check out some funny questions to ask Siri.

The basics

“How old are you?”

“Do you ever get tired?”

“Who was your first crush?”

“Do you like Siri?”

“What is your quest?”

“What do you look like?”

“Where do you live?”

The best

“Are you sentient?”

“How can entropy be reversed?”

“Who’s on first?”

“Can you pass the Turing test?”

“Open the pod bay doors.”

“Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A.”

“Do you like Star Trek or Star Wars?”

“I am your father.”

“Beam me up, Scotty!”

“Here comes dat boi!”

“What’s your vector, Victor?”

“Are you Skynet?”

“Do you know the Muffin Man?”

“Execute Order 66.”

“What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“Do you speak Morse code?”

“What are the Three Laws of Robotics?”

“Wubba lubba dub dub.”

The rest

“Can you rap?”

“What am I thinking right now?”

“What is the loneliest number?”

“Who is the fairest of them all?”

“Is the cake a lie?”

“What are you scared of?”

“What’s the meaning of life?”

“Do you like Star Wars?”

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

“Do you believe in Santa Claus?”

“I’m feeling lucky.”